i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
