I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
