At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
