taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
