My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
