Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
