I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize