Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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