Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
