So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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