we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize