It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
