I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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