i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
nutella sex= disaster
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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