Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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