Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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