I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
