evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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