From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
