sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
