u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
