I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
