i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize