whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
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and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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