I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
