I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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