You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
