I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
