So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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