she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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