I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
