is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
