I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
