They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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