she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
