Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
