Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
