I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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