I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
