He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
