did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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