yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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