Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
