Me too!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
