I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
