Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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