your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
