Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
