its not stalking. its research.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
