i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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