So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
