My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
