He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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