Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
