So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
