I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
