it was like eating out sand paper
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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