Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
