So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
