So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
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Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
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I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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