Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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