bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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